My Crazy Days In AkatsukiFrom the diary of Itachi
by naruwinx
Summary: short and semi sweet Itachi's dead at the age of 25 the ANBU have found his secret diary from his days in Akatsuki and given it to Sasuke now age 20
1. Chapter 1

Ch1

The First Journal

**From the author:** I know I'm typing a lot, but my names Bethany and I put the naru in Naruwinx I write mostly funny romantic punch filled Naruto stories and have a Naruto website at .com/narutoness check it out sometime! Winx is my sister and her stories mainly focus on Winxclub's Tecna, Timmy, and Aburame shino like in her story Falling rose: my love for shino professed. (The sequel is in the making look out for **sweet buggy love** by Winx her site is .com/winxclub )

I thought up this idea after watching the _**Akatsuki fun series by snakegirlshilach on you tube,**_ give personality credits to her. If you're ever bored you ought to watch them there are 5 episodes

With each monkey face comes a new day in the journal since I really can't put number dates in since I don't know the dates (monkey faces look like this (*.*)) monkey faces represent Shisui Uchiha ^.^

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The crowd slowly filed away and sasuke was left alone staring at the tombstone and newly disturbed earth. He couldn't believe that the rivalry ended here, that it was all over. He looked at the tomb again and read it over in disbelief.

It simply read: **R.I.P.**

**Uchiha itachi**

**Age:25**

**Cause of death: sliced jugular**

Another thing he couldn't figure out was why the ANBU had given him these books. Each was leather bound and coal black like the eyes of their owner when he was alive. He looked it over reading the title for the first time. _My Crazy Days in Akatsuki. _

He opened it curiously to find that it was the beginning to a story he would never forget let alone believe.

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**From Author:** I know that this was short but I wanted it to be like a pilot chapter to set the setting of what's going on the diary entries will begin in the next chapter ^.^

Signed

Naru!


	2. Chapter 2

Ch2

The Story of a Lifetime

From Author: I really don't know what's up with me I've hardly started this story, but I know how it ends, and I still don't know what the middle is or how to reach that end gawd I'm so stupid sometimes oh well heres the next chapter hope you like!

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(*u*) entry 1:

Things are happening just too fast. I can hardly think straight. My family's dead my brother is left alone with a piece of land the size of a town and taxes to match, I've been taken to some new strange place and everything is crazy. Today just isn't my day . oh well write more later tonight.

Itachi.

(*u*) entry 2:

I've cleared my mind now. I'm sitting in what's supposed to be my room though it's more like a prison cell. I locked my roommate out of the room so that I could write; he's pounding on the door giving me a headache. He's some sort of exotic fish creature. Not only does he want in the room he also wants to kill me. Unfortunately, I was idiot enough to break out a sushi joke immediately after meeting him. I'll have to learn to control my taunting. He's broken down the door I have to stop writing now.

Itachi.

(*u*) entry3:

It's my second day here in Akatsuki as it's called by leader-samma(more like leader baka) he reminds me of those punk rock wannabes on Mtv lol. He thinks he's all that, and that he runs the place, but even though he's the leader the female of the group, (Konan's her name I think.) really runs things. She's evil in its purest form. Upon meeting her, I was whisked into a hug and had the life squeezed out of me as she commented on how much of an adorable little ninja I was in that strange language girls use to talk to infants. I already hate most of the people here, and she's at the top of my hit list. I'll talk about the others later.

Itachi

(*u*) entry4:

Today I'll focus on Deidara. Deidara is as dumb as the dumb blonde jokes imply. He's tall with blue eyes (I should really say eye as he only reveals one.) he enjoys blowing things to bits, especially my room. I've only been here 3 days and me entire rooms been rebuilt eight times already. He seems to think he's much cooler than he really is. I wish he'd change his appearance, as he resembles a homo from California with his stupid tan and the "hmm" at the end of every sentence. He landed himself a spot right under Konan on my hit list.

Itachi

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**From author:** I know its short again but that's all I could think of and I had so many people tell me to hurry up with the chapter. Me being in middle school means I'm seriously busy all the time and its hard to write a chapter between algebra, advanced science, and us history. I'll try to get them uploaded sooner but plz be patient thx!


	3. Chapter 3

Ch3

Akatsuki members and my hit list

**From Naru-san:** yay! Another chapters here and I figured out most of the plot in the three minutes between communication arts and algebra I wrote this pretty fast so it may be a little crummy I hope you like it anyway enjoy!

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(*u*) entry 5:

I've added to my hit list, here's an updated copy. It's only day four and everyone here is on it already. I'll tell you the reasons later.

_Hit list _

Konan

Deidara

Kakuzu

Tobi

Sasori

Sushi Man

Plant Freak

Pein-baka

Hidan

Itachi

(*u*) entry 6:

I've told you my reasonings on Konan and Deidara's placements, so now I'll talk about Kakuzu. He's developed a hobby of stealing my wallet among other valuables. Last week he went out car jacking. The A.N.B.U. black ops from Iwagakure almost found our secret hide out. Because of this, he's landed himself at number 3 on my hit list.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 7:

Allow me now to talk about my good friend Tobi. He's perky and annoying. He thinks he's so innocent, with that little kid attitude. Recently he's been watching too much Spongebob and Harry Potter. He's started calling himself "Tobi Potter," he's even got the geeky glasses and a painted on scar on his dumb orange mask. Because of his like for the sponge, I've become "Squidward" in his eyes.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 8:

Next on my list is that gay wannabe rapper Sasori. I was trying to sleep last night, but I couldn't. This time the blame didn't fall on my crummy bed. He was having another party, and unfortunately, my room is right next door to his. Then when it was over, he heard me mumbling and decided to sing me to sleep. Take a guess at who wound up with a black eye in the morning

Itachi

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**From Naru-san:** hope you liked the personalities belong mostly to snakegirlshilach with a little of my personal touch, new chapter will be here soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch4

More People= More Annoyances

**From Naru-San: **this chapter tells more about the other members the real story starts next chapter kks enjoy! ^.^

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(*u*) entry 9:

Now I'll talk about my roommate, Sushi-man, Kisame. He's not that bad most of the time, but I accidentally ate Sushi in front of him. He flipped out and attacked me with his dumb, giant, fluffy sword. IT HAS A NAME TOO!! What kind of idiot names his katana? He says its name is Sameheda(sharkskin) which I suppose fits, but FOR GODS SAKE WHY NAME IT????

Itachi

(*u*) entry 10:

Is the world going insane. Since when can plants walk, talk, fight, and eat people? Recently I had an adventure into Zetsu's room. It was like walking into a rain forest. I almost mistook his shadow for a dinosaur, but luckily, my sharingan figured out it was him, before I had time to react. He's tolerable most of the, until he gets hungry. Then it's time to avoid him before he starts eating chairs, and people. He's such a plant human freak thing… what is he anyway????????

Itachi

(*u*) entry 11:

Pein-baka, our leader, decided he was going to cook this week. Upon seeing what was for dinner, I almost gagged. Placed on everyone's plates at the table was a large mass of burnt meat that resembled a dead rat, which is probably what it was considering Akatsuki's rat population. I didn't eat. I'm kinda hungry, I wonder if I've got any candy bars left, or some sake… oh well I'll go check.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 12:

Last on my list is the Christian, Jesus freak, Hidan. I hardly know him, except for the day I arrived, he's been in his room. He's got a large scythe like weapon and slick silver hair. The only time he spoke that wasn't praying was when he asked me what my religion was. I told him I didn't have one, and he tried to get me to convert to his. I told him I'd convert, but not to Christianity. I told him I would convert to sadism lol. He ran away screaming, searching for his holy water.

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**From Naru-san: **I hope you liked it I liked the parts with Hidan and Pein lol.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch5

One Month Later

**From Naru-san:** I know it's been a while, but I was re watching some Akatsuki fun videos for ideas and stuff. This chapter is a little more serious, we start to talk about the missions and things he goes on enjoy! ^.^

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(*u*) entry 13:

It's been a month since I've written though it feels like less. I've been on a mission scouting for the locations of several biju. I remembered that the nine tails jinchuriki lived in Konoha, so I only had to locate one other to fill my quota for this mission. I located the one-tailed Shukaku in Suna. Kisame has been assigned to be my partner in capturing them. This shall be interesting

Itachi

(*u*) entry 14:

Because of my quick work on the last mission, I am allowed a vacation. I spent today sneaking over to Shizune-chan's house to visit her. It'd been a while since I'd seen my girlfriend, and I was amazed to learn that even though I left without a goodbye, she still loves me. We spent the whole time quietly pulling pranks on Asuma-sensei. Lol he never saw those water balloons coming.(if they were water…I could have sworn they were yellow inside^.^)

Itachi

(*u*) entry 15:

Today is the last day of my vacation. I think I'll spend it somewhere I can be alone. Kisame's bugging me again, and I feel like this place has no privacy every time I start to enjoy myself I wind up finding tobi in my room messing with my stuff and then Konan gets mad when he hurts himself with my weapons what the hell should I do? Snakes and pit traps maybe??? No Konan would be even madder I know Genjutsu and paper bombs (evil laugh) its perfect!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 16:

Today Pein-baka decided to do some decorating. We all painted our rooms so now mines a little less prison like. Its black with red lining and a few katana hanging on the walls. Kisame's half on the other hand is deep blue and resembles a lagoon with all the creepy little fish painted on the wall. I swear the creature from the black lagoon was his father. Oh well that's all I got.

Itachi

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**From Naru-san:** finally a new chapters done I've had a lot of shit going on, and u know what I've realized writing this crap is hard thank goodness for winx's great ideas she the best sis in the world yay because of her I have the will to keep writing this stuff normally I just give up on something in the middle lol so when ur bored look up winx's new story sweet buggy love


	6. Chapter 6

Ch6

Better Things

**From Naru-san:** It's been a long time but good news I'll have 2 chapters up by the end of the day and I'm in a really good mood yay me!!!! This chapter itachi starts to have a semi normal teenaged life; things are finally looking up for weasel-kun

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(*u*) entry 17:

I'm sitting in the bathroom. It's one of the few quiet places where Tobi won't find me. It's been another month since I've written, and things are pretty much the same. Orochimaru has been over a few times. He's one of Pein-baka's stupid poker buddies. The way he licks his lips when he wins is enough to make me gag. I hate poker night, it's the loudest night of the week. Konan's always crying about how she's ignored all the time, Zetsu's trying to eat Tobi, (Personally I hope he succeeds) Deidara and Sasori are fighting, and Hidan won't stop bugging me. What did I get myself into…. THE TWIGHLIGHT ZONE??????????

Itachi

The spiky haired Uchiha finally closed the first book and walked into his deserted home. He ate dinner alone as usual, but after he was done he eagerly went to his room sat on his be and reopened it laughing as he did so. His brother's life sure was hell.

(*u*) entry18:

I'm in a much better mood today, I found out there are good things here. Konan decided to throw a party. Kisame, Deidara, his bird thing, and I got into a drinking contest. (Which probably wasn't a good idea!), and I won so easily. Deidara's bird drank so much its insides blew up ha-ha, it was so frickin funny. Deidara was bawling so much he didn't say "hmm" all night. Kisame's in the bathroom barfing, but I feel fine. Maybe it's just because he's a fish.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 19:

Poker night this week is officially a bust! Orochimaru's off building his own gay ninja village somewhere neat the land of rice paddies, and all of Pein's other buddies are either sick or wounded. It's a lot quieter here without them yelling at each other. Things are getting better, WE HAVE CABLE NOW! I can watch my shows now. The Make-out Paradise movie is on, and it's finally quiet enough to watch. When I went to it in theatres, kakashi-sempai kept bawling during all the good parts. What a sap. Oh well it's a good movie.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 20:

We have an X-box now, but Deidara keeps hogging it. He's such a nutcase! If you come near him while he's playing, he starts bombing people, WAIT! HE JUST LEFT THE TV,… MY TURN!

Itachi

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**From Naru-san: **thanks for reading, I'm really enjoying this story, and I'm writing chapters a lot faster. It just takes forever to convince my dad to let me on the computer, oh well tis the life of a 13 year old.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch7

What to do while stuck in a giant rock

**From Naru-san:** yay 7 chapters I'm on a roll this is kinda jumping around but I was in English class when I wrote it so my brain was disconnected from the real world and strongly attached to Itachi's world. Too many thoughts were in my head and I had to write them all oh well bear with me.

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(*u*) entry 21:

I've removed a name from my hit list. Kakuzu has saved us all from boredom (for now). He used all his stolen diamonds to buy an arcade. I already have several high scores. I'm going to play some more.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 22:

_**High Scores**_

**Pac man: **_Itachi:_ 10,000,000,001

**Pinball:**_ Itachi:_ 101,000,000

**Whack a weasel: **_Deidara: _(not an arcade game!)

He's mad at me because I beat out all of his high scores. Kakuzu finally got the blonde freak off of me by giving him a Nintendo DS and Wii.

Itachi

(*u*) entry23:

I've beaten all the games now, things have gotten boring again and we hardly ever go on missions anymore. Kisame and I have been using Tobi for target practice, so that our skills don't go to ruin. It's not working he's too slow and easy to hit. I need something else.

Itachi

(*u*) entry24:

I finally found where Pein put all my stuff. I'm so happy, I found my guitar. I still know how to play my black Gibson les Paul with the Maplewood neck, and cherry wood body. This is good, considering we're starting a karaoke night. Konan beat Pein up until he agreed lol he's soo weak even a girl can beat him up ha-ha.

Itachi

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**From Naru-san:** I don't want to piss off any girls with that last sentence myself being a girl I just thought it would fit with his attitude, I hope you like the whack a weasel part lol I know I did^.^


	8. Chapter 8

Ch8

The End of Part One

**From Naru-san:** hey, guys I am definitely getting better at this heres another chapter and Sasuke's in this one more enjoy! ^.^

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(*u*) entry25:

Karaoke night went well, we played "We Will Rock You". Apparently, I'm not the only one here who can play an instrument. Sasori and I sang, I played guitar and Konan played drums. The others all stomped and clapped, surprisingly they actually kept on beat. We sounded great!

Itachi

(*u*) entry26:

My birthday's coming soon, it's hard to believe I'm going to be 14 next month. I wonder if any of these dopes will give me any presents, probably not. Oh well it's been almost a year already. Wow! Kisame's like a big brother to me now, whenever someone gets pissed at me he cuts them up with his giant sword. No more blowing up my room! TAKE THAT DEIDARA!

Itachi

As Sasuke drifted off the book fell to the floor and gently closed.

Bright amber colored sunshine fell over his face as he woke with a start. Where was the book?! Coming from the kitchen, he heard loud laughter. Upon entering, he encountered Manda of the snakes holding it with his tail, reading it aloud to Naruto and Gamakichi.

After about half an hour of "Get outs!" and Chidori vs. Rasengan the three left the Uchiha alone again with the journal, which he opened, and started reading again where he had left off.

(*u*) entry27:

It's Christmas Eve and I wish Shizune-Chan were here. She's stopped answering my letters and she won't even answer her phone. I hope she's okay, maybe she's forgotten about me. I hope not. Maybe she's moved on……Oh God I hope not! I'm going to try to contact her again now!

Itachi

(*u*)entry 28:

And so a year has passed and I'm 14 years old, a renegade ninja, and I'm Stuck in a giant ROCK! What else could possibly be worse than this. I'm running low on room in my journal,… I need a new one.

Itachi

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**From Naru-san:** so what did ya think personally I like how desperate sounding the Christmas eve one was hahaha I am so cruel to him lol


	9. Chapter 9

Ch9

A New Journal, a New Year

**From Naru-san:** hey guys heres a new chapter. It looks like its going to be a bad year for itachi-kun lol

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(*u*) entry 29:

I snuck out last night to see Shizune. On my way there, I bought this new journal. When I jumped up to her window, I was hit over the head with a broom. She said that she'd heard what I had done, and that I was a heartless bastard. It was hurtful to see the woman I love wishing me dead. I feel I will never return to Konoha again.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 30:

It's been a month since the incident with Shizune. I feel as if my life has taken a wrong turn. Everything seems different now, I can't explain it. I feel as if just getting out of bed is pointless. I don't know. Maybe things'll get better, but I doubt it.

Itachi

(*u*) entry31:

I can't get her out of my head. I'm constantly looking through all my old photographs. Her image won't leave my head and her harsh words haunt me. I long for the times when her laughter filled my ears. I miss her.

Itachi

Sasuke looked down and in several spots on the page, there were marks of water damage, as if Itachi had been crying. This had Sasuke surprised. His heartless brother had cried!

(*u*) entry32:

It feels like things are moving in slow motion. My head feels like someone is driving a nail into it, and my vision is blurred. I can't think straight. I have to use my sharingan just to focus. It's driving me crazy. I wish I knew what is wrong with me.

Itachi

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**From Naru-san:** Ahh we see the effects of mangekyo sharingan at last mwahahaha hope you enjoyed it


	10. Chapter 10

Ch10

The Runaway Ninja

**From Naru-san:** it seems my computer has been on drugs lately sorry for the late update enjoy ^.^

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(*u*) entry 33:

I've run away. I'm hiding out in an upstairs Inn, located atop a tavern. It's in the village of Iwagakure, which is located near Akatsuki, so I can return in a while. Right now though, I'm just sick of them.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 34:

I've been hiding for a month now, and several times, I've heard Deidara questioning my whereabouts in the tavern below. Last time I was downstairs when he came. Thank the gods he's never seen me in civilian clothes. He didn't recognize me, but that was cutting it too close.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 35:

They know where I am, a weak after that narrow escape, Konan came and saw me. I rushed to my room, but she saw which door I entered. She's knocking on my door begging me to come out. Obviously, I'm refusing. The knocking has stopped thank goodness.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 36:

My leg is chained to my bed. Pein is furious. He has all six of him guarding my door. I can't go anywhere without an escort. Like I said Akatsuki = prison.

Itachi

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**From Naru-san:** ok finally done with this one I was afraid I wouldn't be able to finish my computers been going haywire this month hope you liked this chapter and I should have another up by the end of the week, bye peeps


	11. Chapter 11

Ch 11

Holy Crap! A New Year Already?

**From Naru-san: **I know it's been a while, but I've been really busy, and you might have to wait some more soon, I got a new computer, and my dad still needs to set it up. That's going to take a while, but for now enjoy. I know I'm skipping around a lot with this story but I've gotta last until he's 25. Long way to go just ten years left.

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(*u*) entry 37:

Free at last. It's January…Damn Pein. He kept me locked up for six months. I'm not depressed anymore. It feels great to be free to kick Deidara's ass again. I didn't get to celebrate my birthday though. I'm' 15 now. The best part is, Kakuzu stole a Ferrari, and I get to drive it now. Kisame and I went joyriding through Konoha. I think Shizune saw me, oh well it was fun!

Itachi

Sasuke looked outside to what was his car in the driveway. A Ferrari.. No way! That was so not fair. His car was a piece of crap compared to a Ferrari, he then wondered to himself if it was still around somewhere, and if it was in good condition. Oh well…

(*u*) entry 38:

I'm not feeling well today. My vision is blurred again, and my heads throbbing. I stumble around and I don't know why. My eyes hurt especially when I use the Mangekyo Sharingan. Could these be the side effects Shisui mentioned with his dying breath. It's getting hard to write I need to stop.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 39:

I've been writing a lot less often. It's already March. I'm really missing home, and my Otouto.[Sasuke nearly died when he read this line]It's too bad I can't go back, I heard Shizune is dating Shiranui, Genma. If I were there I'd beat the crap out of him, and she'd be mine again. He's only a chunin, he wouldn't stand a chance ha-ha. Believe me, his time will come…Soon.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 40:

I've been planning my attack on Genma for a while now, and I think I've got it. I'll have Sasori distract her, while Deidara blows up Genma, and I'll come up from behind and carry her away from the explosion. Shizune'll probably be pissed, but when she sees Genma's condition and realizes that could have been her, she'll love me again.

Itachi

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**From Naru-san: **I just love writing about the mangekyo sharingan ha-ha its really fun to have itachi sound so hurt and depressed, and yay Shisui's name made it's debut in my story lol. I also like the relation ship itachi had with Shizune. I think they're a good couple, what do you think?


	12. Chapter 12

Ch 12

An Ex-Anbu Manhunt

**From Naru-san: **I'm using a new computer and a new program now so my chapters may look a little different so bare with me. It atomatically doublespaces everything i write. the lucky thing is im able to update, thank god my internet is up and running haha

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(*u*) Entry 41:

I did it, Genma Shiranui was Katsued. Bad thing is he saw who was behind it, me. Now the A.N.B.U. black ops are chasing after us. I made it to the rock safely, but Sasori, Deidara, and i won't be leaving for awhile. Oh, and you know what sucks? Shizune wasn't even there, she left to train with Tsunade-samma, and won't be back for awhile.

Itachi.

(*u*) Entry 42:

Still in the rock, still hiding. Things are getting boring again. I was in the arcade again, and I beat my old high scores too. There's nothing to do but write, and play my guitar. I'm listening to my Ipod,(yes ninja's have Ipods)"It's Never Too Late", by three days grace. If only, "It's not too late... Its never too late."

Itachi.

(*u*) entry 43:

My old A.N.B.U. squad is hunting me down, I saw them the other day, but I managed to get away, the three of them haven't gotten any better. Being their captain, I knew all their tricks. They should have spent more time training, instead of chasing me.

Itachi.

(*u*) entry 44:

Tobi won't leave me alone, he's getting worse every day. He steals my stuff, draws on my walls, and enters my room without knocking. The worst part is when I'm in the shower and he goes into the bathroom and flushes the toilet for no reason. GOD I HATE HIM!

Itachi.

At this Sasuke noticed all the colored markings on the page and a poorly written "Tobi wuz her" now the whole village heard Sasuke laughing his ass off. Finally he stopped when Sai came to the door and asked if there was a dying hyena in his house, and if it needed a laxative...

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**From Naru-san:** thx for reading that part about the laxative was my sister Winx-san's idea lol i love that part the most. get ready for a new chapter soon.


	13. Chapter 13

Ch13

One seriously messed up prison break

**From Naru-san:** im so happy i have my new computer up...wells heres my next chapter enjoy ^.^

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(*u*) entry45:

We have a slight problem on our hands, Deidara's been arrested by the Iwagakure A.N.B.U. black ops. We all told him to stop blowing up their Tsuchikage. Just because he's drunk and mad, doesn't mean he needs to put us all at risk like that. Sasori's coming up with a plan to bust him out. I'll write it down as soon as I know...This is going to be fun.

Itachi.

(*u*) entry 46:

O.K. heres the plan. Deidara's being held in a maximum security cell on the second floor of teh prison (they made sure it was katsu proof). Tobi will be the distraction, while Sasori and i bust him out. If Tobi doesn't work Hidan's coming with us to kill off the gaurds. I'll go into more detail in the morning after the break out.

Itachi.

(*u*) entry47:

That was the wierdest experience i have ever had. We freed Deidara, but killed half of Iwas in the process. There were crazy puppets, monkeys,(don't ask...seriously...) explosions, crows, blood, crosses, and scythes. It was utter chaos. I feel I will never forget my crazy days here in Akatsuki.

Itachi.

(*u*)entry48:

Deidara practically is our servant. He keeps repeating how grateful he is, and how he'll do anything to repay us. He found out he can do the crime, but not the time. Ha-ha prison was too tough for him.

Itachi.

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**From Naru-san:** i love how i finally managed to fit a prison break in and how itachi got the idea for the name of his journals. i practically laughed my ass off in science class when i wrote this (thankfully i can laugh in my head very well) though im sure no one heard me i got some weird looks.


	14. Chapter 14

Ch14

GAH! I Hate You Tobi!

**From Naru-san:** I felt like I needed some less serious chapters, and yes they can get a lot less serious, so today let's focus on Tobi

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(*u*) entry 49:

Grr… When I see him I'm going to kill that little masked freak. Just wait… I'm going to wring his little neck. I'm going to find him I'll write the whole story including his beating afterwards.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 50:

O.K. here's what happened. I woke screaming, bright colors everywhere. You'll never guess what that idiot had done. I was in his room tied to his bed with SpongeBob sheets. Tobi, smiling, was looming over me, the Barney song ringing through my ears. I could just about cry. Oh hold on I'll write in a bit DINNER TIME! Konan cooked, and it smells good.

Itachi

(*u*) entry51:

MMMM…Yummy chicken…OH! Wait! Back to the story, so I was tied to Tobi's bed, practically screaming my head off, when , no lie, a bunch of monkeys surrounded me. I've never told anyone this before, but I'm scared of monkeys. Tobi seemed to enjoy my terror, next thing I knew they all were hugging me, then I fainted. Now Tobi's in the infirmary, he may have monkeys, but I have crows. That little worm says he's never going outside again, let alone in a cornfield. Ha-ha he sure got his.

Itachi

(*u*) entry52:

I've been avoiding writing for too long. It's been a few weeks, and Tobi's free to bug me again. Hidan and Kakuzu are out scouting for Biju, and I've been sneaking into Konoha. I don't think he's noticed, but I've been watching Sasuke from trees near the academy. He's improving rapidly, I have to admit, I'm proud of him.

Itachi

Sasuke's jaw dropped (after starting reading these it did that a lot), his brother had been spying on him…WHAT A JERK…wait did he say…proud???!

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXFrom Naru-san:** next chapter we hear some funny stories about dumb A.N.B.U.


	15. Chapter 15

Ch15

More Trouble Brewing

**From Naru-san:** How dumb can A.N.B.U. be? Oh, read this chapter and you'll see. P.s. starting this chapter the amount of entries will be bumped up to 6. enjoy ^.^

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(*u*) entry 53:

O.K., so you'd think the A.N.B.U. would be pretty smart right, right. They're only like the strongest ninjas in their village, next to their kage, so why the hell can't they handle us Akatsuki members? Oh, right , let me explain what happened this time. We all went into a diner for breakfast, in our Akatsuki kimonos, and sat down to eat. Several A.N.B.U. soon entered, and put up wanted flyers of all of us. After that they too sat down to order. They looked right at us, and never noticed we were criminals, aside from being a bit nervous, that morning was probably the most peaceful I've had since joining.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 54:

Here's a new record for the dumb A.N.B.U. books. I was on the outskirts of Konoha, and some A.N.B.U. recognized my outfit, and realized I belonged to Akatsuki. So, two of them grabbed me from behind, and held me there, while their captain searched for me in his bingo book. Here's where stupidity takes the wheel… The bingo book was outdated, and they spent half an hour looking through the pages of it for me. I was then let go, when they couldn't find me…Retards…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 55:

I was up in a tree today, watching this random girl with brownish blonde hair. She was polishing shuriken, and oddly enough, she kind of looked like me, but a lot younger, and a girl. I suppose that's why this next dumb A.N.B.U. incident happened. Several A.N.B.U. came down, grabbed her, and yelled "Uchiha Itachi, you're under arrest!" at this my jaw nearly hit the ground from the tree limb I was on, I mean what the hell, she didn't look THAT much like me. She screamed at them " WHAT THE HELL!? YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!! I'M NOT ITACHI! I'M NARUWINX, IF YOU ARREST ME I CAN'T FINISH THE STORY!!!!" then an excited look came over her face, and she weaved hand signs. Due to a chidori, the A.N.B.U. lost their heads. I suppose the moral here is…Don't mess with the author.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 56:

Wow another year gone, I'm 16 now, and amazingly my entries seem to be getting longer. Maybe I just have too much stuff to write about. Oh, guess who the A.N.B.U. managed to arrest this time…drum roll please its…Tobi. I suppose we should bail him out, but I don't feel compelled to do so, they'll eventually realize he's too dumb to help them…someone's at the door … oh, it's Tobi, and several A.N.B.U. who are bawling their eyes out behind him…I wonder what happened…Oh, that explains it, Tobi says he told them a scary story, and then asked to go home. He may be stupid, but those stories are scary.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 57:

I've spent three years here, you'd think I'd have been found after all the stupid things we've done, but no, no one's saved me yet. All the A.N.B.U. have managed to do is arrest the nutcases of Akatsuki, like Deidara, and Tobi. NOT TO MENTTION THEY BOTH GOT AWAY!!!

Itachi

(*u*) entry58:

It seems our A.N.B.U. troubles have ceased. Hidan and Kakuzu are back now, and we're all taking it slow…things are getting boring again…

Itachi

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXFrom Naru-san:** I just love to work things in, and when I got the idea for a chapter on dumb A.N.B.U. I just couldn't resist adding the entry about me. ha-ha especially after Winx-san suggested it. so hope you liked oh, and I'd really love it if some of you guys could (if you have artistic talent) draw some illustrations, I mean I know what it looks like in my head, but I wanna know what you see.


	16. Chapter 16

Ch16

The motorcycle gang

**From Naru-san: **I give credit for this idea to my dad---lots of love----Naru-san: ps guys I'm running out of ideas and I still have a ways to go…no matter how dumb any ideas will be considered please help. Thx!

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**(*u*) entry 59:**

**I don't know where they came from, but oh they came. The Akatsuki now have brand new motorcycles. I've always been good at riding, and I can do a few tricks. I can't wait to get out there.**

**Itachi**

**(*u*) entry 60:**

**Ok, so get this, Kakuzu decided that we should start up a motorcycle gang. Sasori tried to talk him out of it, but he failed. So, now we are officially a motorcycle gang. Geez… these guys are weird.**

**Itachi**

**(*u*) entry 61:**

**Idiots! Idiots! Idiots! Today Kakuzu and Deidara's big mouths (all four of them) got us into a gang war against the Jonin of Konoha. I'm dead serious, Asuma and Kakashi beat Tobi's ass, It was hilarious, not to mention a drunk Ebisu thinking he was tougher than he was ending up in a dumpster. Half of each side is wounded, but I guarantee that the Jonin side has more serious wounds.**

**Itachi**

**(*u*) entry 62:**

**Sake bombs are flying, but we have the upper hand. We know where Konoha is, but they don't know where Akatsuki H.Q. is. The war is continually waging. Kakuzu and Hidan are in the frontlines throwing like mad, while the sane ones, like Kisame, Sasori, and I are in the back just watching. Deidara on the other hand is yelling "BOOM!" right next to me, breaking my eardrums every time one of the bombs explodes. I think I'm leaving.**

**Itachi**

**(*u*) entry 63:**

**If you thought sake bombs were the worst, you haven't seen anything yet. We've broken out the machetes, and believe me someone's going to get hurt(Ebisu and Guy). Well off to the battle, things should wrap up pretty quickly.**

**Itachi **

**(*u*) entry 64:**

**After we were ambushed by Kurenai, Guy, and Ebisu, took them out, and almost fought a death battle against Kakashi (he retreated), we finally ended this retarded war. Jonin and Akatsuki alike were hurt, but in the end…THIS WAS AWESOME! **

**Itachi**


	17. Chapter 17

Ch 17

**. . . ***sigh* Happy Holidays **. . . **

**From Naru-San: **ok…Two people get special thanks this chapter. First is my sister **Winx**, She came up with the first half, about Sasori, Second is **ArAnCaR No. 6**for the second half, the Akatsuki Christmas. THANKS FOR THE HELP! (*u*)

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(*u*) entry 65:

We may have a slight problem. Sasori's gone AWOL. Last night we were watching the Jeff Dunham show, and he got mad and left. I hope he's not doing anything stupid…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 66:

Things are getting serious. I've been watching the news, and now not only is Sasori AWOL, but so is Jeff Dunham…Sasori just came through the door. He looks Ok, aside from the creepy fact that his kimono is torn up pretty bad, and he's covered in blood. I asked him what happened, and he just looked at me, got a bottle of Sake from the kitchen, And went to his room.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 67:

Jeff Dunham is Ok…well sort of, he's in the hospital. The news anchors are calling him crazy though. During his interview, he said he was attacked by a giant puppet, that was controlling puppets. Most people are saying his profession is getting to him. Only us Akatsukis, and Jeff will really know

Itachi

(*u*) entry 68:

"Christmas, Christmas time is here, time for joy, and time for Beer!" That's what Deidara is singing today. It's his messed up version of Christmas caroling. Tobi's got the mistletoe, and Zetsu's the tree. Sasori's making dinner, but after what happened the other day, we're all avoiding him.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 69:

Tobi is so dead…Again! Damn mistletoe, he cornered me, and Konan was in on it. I never thought I'd be so happy he wears a mask, but now you tube will know me forever, as the guy who kissed the masked kid. Ha-ha, Konan just got Pein under the mistletoe with Orochimaru, who came over to help decorate, or so he says. I think he just came, because he knows Sasori can cook a good turkey. Damn greedy snake.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 70:

I got…socks…I wear sandals, when on earth am I going to wear socks anyway. What…a…Christmas, have I mentioned I hate these guys,…Well, I HATE THESE GUYS! Oh well, the funny thing is Deidara got a lighter and some incense from Konan, and now he's trying to light Zetsu on fire. Oh! I got Sasuke a present this year, but I left it anonymous. I got him a Demon Wind Shuriken. I remembered how he was always begging dad for one, so I cut him a break.

Itachi

Sasuke thought back to that morning, when he had stepped onto his porch, and tripped over the gift. There was no name on the tag so he took it inside and set it next to the mounds of gifts from fan girls. That night when he opened it he had almost cried…he now was crying again upon knowing it was from his brother.

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**From Naru-San: Aww Sasuke-kun is crying, how sweet. For those of you who don't know who Jeff Dunham is, he's a ventriloquist, a guy who works with puppets, he's normally on Comedy Central, if you're interested, keep an eye out for him. He's pretty funny.**


	18. Chapter 18

Ch18

I Hate Puppets

**From Naru-San:** Yay! My creative brain is back. I came up with one of my funniest yet, full of pink, and puppet bashing.

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(*u*) entry 71:

Grrr… I can still feel the strings of chakra on my arms, and I still cant get this thing off. It's a… I don't know what they're called, but it's one of those prissy, pink, froo-froo skirts ballerinas wear. GAH! And tights! I hate puppets, and I hate the Nutcracker Suite. Sasori, while we were sleeping, put us in these stupid outfits, and when we woke, we were under his control. I knew we couldn't trust him.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 72:

I need to find a wood chipper… I woke up a Freaking Sugar Plum Fairy AGAIN…oooh! I found a chainsaw…this'll do nicely. Now, to find that puppet and make a footstool out of him.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 73:

Ahhh! My new footstool is attacking me! He's definitely not happy. No one knows it's Sasori, and they're all worried about him. Deidara especially, but he doesn't realize that, that footstool he used to get to his cookie stash was his partner. Uh Oh! Gotta go!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 74:

Crud I'm in trouble now. Konan found out about Sasori and fixed him. Now, he's mounted on his motorcycle looking for me. It's a good thing motorcycles can't climb, I'm on to p of Akatsuki H.Q. safe and sound. (O/.\O) It's climbing! NOOO!…He ran over my lunch.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 75:

Ok. I'm alright…for now. Sasori got cut to ribbons by Mr. Sushi, and is in the infirmary. Deidara is piecing him together with staples and wood glue. I can tell this isn't going to end well for me and the fish. Sasori and Deidara were spewing profanities at us as they walked away , swearing their revenge, although aside from more tutus(I found out what they're called), and bombings, we should be ok.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 76:

Ok. I feel now, since I'm hiding form a deadly puppet, is a good time for a short recap. I'm sixteen years old, stuck inside a giant rock, full of S-class criminals, whom are either idiots, or want me dead, and I have to room with a fish. I've been chased by A.N.B.U. who really haven't got a clue about what's going on, kidnapped and tortured by Tobi, and beat up by a puppet…Damn this sucks.

Itachi

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**From Naru-San: it was about time for a recap…Hope you liked this one ^.^ I'll be updating soon!**


	19. Chapter 19

Ch19

No Zetsu!…Don't Eat the Children!

**From Naru-San: **I've had chapters all about Sasori and Tobi, and everyone's about Itachi, so I thought this one should be about everyone's favorite plant…Human…Whatever he is.

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(*u*) entry 77:

I hate Konan, it's Tobi's birthday, and she's making us all go to a Sponge Bob theme park to celebrate. Just the place to put a man eating plant like Zetsu…poor planning on Sponge Bob's part.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 78:

My prediction was correct, but Zetsu never imagined a sponge would give him indigestion. Those poor children were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Let me take the time to explain. All was fine, until it came time to cut the cake, all the little pipsqueaks were lined up for a slice, when Zetsu went ballistic. He was eating everything(human) in sight. It was almost hilarious when he ate the guy in the Sponge Bob costume. Tobi was giggling the whole time, cheering on "Mr. Zetsu", and sitting on Deidara's shoulders. I almost feel bad for the plant-thing. Right now he's getting the scolding of his life.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 79:

Ha-ha you'll never guess what Zetsu's punishment is. He's our new lawn ornament. We now have a Venus fly trap planted by our door, who was lit on fire by Deidara, and put out by Hidan. I assume it wasn't water though. I'm going to go find my shovel. I'm not too fond of Hidan, and I think Zetsu wants to show him something inside his fly trap…His mouth! MWAH HAHAHAHA!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 80:

CAUTION! DO NOT ENTER THE BATHROOM! Hidan's in there, barfing his guts out. Zetsu's free, and I doubt he's done with Hidan. He's after Deidara now…I wonder what's next.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 81:

Ha…Poor Deidara…NOT! He got what was coming to him, he's tied up, and unconscious, in a coat closet. Zetsu tried to eat him too, but had a genius idea. He told Deidara that he was too fat to fit in his mouth. They got in a fight, and the plant won…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 82:

Wow! This week has had the most fights yet…Deidara's out and crazy mad. Literally. He's Katsuing the heck out of this place, and I know this is going to end with a large hospitable bill. Oooh that looked like it hurt…ouch, there went Deidara's arms.

Itachi

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**From Naru-san: I don't know if this was funny or not, but I hope you liked it, my brain was kind of on other things when I wrote this, but it seemed like a good idea at the time…oh well you be the judge.**


	20. Chapter 20

Ch20

Will you be my Valentine

**From Naru-San: **Sorry about the late update, I was sick yesterday and couldn't update anyways, I thought about this for a while and I finally decided its time for valentines…We're going to hear about someone we haven't seen since ch9 too! Enjoy!

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(*u*) entry 83:

Hmm… It's been two years since I've seen her. Now's the perfect time, but first I need to go shopping. If I'm lucky, the A.N.B.U.'s book will still be outdated, and I'll be able to roam around freely. I better go write up a list, so I know how much to steal…I mean borrow from Kakuzu.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 84:

Ok, so long as no one finds out where I put Kakuzu(the closet of doom, where Dei was being held), I'm in the clear. I really miss her, and I wan to see her. I'll write more later.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 85:

Things haven't changed a bit, she's still with Genma…and Shizune-Chan still hates me. Flowers, chocolates, cards, they don't help. I wonder if she ever thinks of me…probably not…Tobi's in my room…he left something…it's a card.

To: Itasshie

Will you bee

Mai Valentine?

No…I won't

Itachi

(*u*) entry 86:

I knew these guys were crazy. We all got into a valentine goodie fight. Candy hearts and chocolates were flying everywhere…it took me three hours to get the candy out of my hair…it still smells weird, like pepto and ice-cream.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 87:

What the heck is with the crazy holidays here, they always end in fights. Even for ninja, we fight WAY too much. It's a good thing Sasori's made of wood, and Hidan's immortal. They're the ones who get attacked the most…even though they deserve to die.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 88:

Finally March…Ow!…I just got pinched…now I think my problem's going to be St. Patrick's day. I don't own, nor will I wear any green. Stupid Tobi, oh well, maybe we'll tie him to a post, and put him outside dressed like a leprechaun…yeah that'll work.

Itachi

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**From Naru-San: did anyone catch that unintentional Yugi-Oh pun…Mai Valentine is a character Joey Wheeler is paired with a lot, she is a female duelist.**


	21. Chapter 21

Ch 21

March…*pinch*…*Tobi leaves*… "Ow"

**From Naru-san: **sorry about not updating sooner, but I've been really distracted anyways I have a bunch of chapters written, and I'll be updating 2 more times today. Oh by the way starting next chapter I'm adding two more entries, Yay for you guys, more work for me…Enjoy!

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(*u*) entry 89:

^/.\^ guess what Kakuzu just did. He just became the richest man on earth…he robbed…Bill Gates!*sp* I have to admit out of all the Akatsukis, I fight the least with him. Hmmm…I know I rob him a lot, but he doesn't seem to mind…maybe he'll share?

Itachi

(*u*) entry 90:

St. Patrick's Day…what to do… what to wear. Hmmm… so this is how girls feel on the night of the Shinobi Prom…! I know, I need to ask Tobi for something.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 91:

I borrowed a green marker, colored one of my white hair ties green, and not surprisingly Kisame's the only one who realized I was wearing green. Now Tobi knows, but I have to find some rope…and a stick.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 92:

Tobi seems happy with his new post, and so is everyone else. He's a leprechaun, tied to a pole outside our door. He's pinching every A.N.B.U. that walks by, even the ones with green symbols on their masks. They don't seem too happy. Oh, he just pulled the stick out of the ground. Now, he's chasing a few female A.N.B.U., yelling something about cookies…life is good…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 93:

These symptoms come almost monthly now, and I feel it is necessary, no matter how difficult, that I write about them. My head is throbbing, and it feels like some one is yanking on the back of my eyeballs. I can't see straight, and the way things look resembles the way they do when I'm drunk. It's getting too difficult to see what I write…I'm going to lie down.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 94:

I'm feeling better, and I've come up with a genius pan for April Fools day. It'll be the most fun yet, look out Tobi here we come.

Itachi

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**From Naru-san: I really enjoy writing about the Mangehkyo sharingan now, at first it was a pain, but its easy now, 2 more chapters coming your way today…!**


	22. caution Tobi Bashing will occur

_**Ch 22**_

_**April Fools!!!!!**_

_**From Naru-San:**__ I know some one wanted a Tobi bashing chapter, but I can't remember their name…So… anyways this chapter goes out to who ever that was. I did some thing different, and I think you'll understand once you read it, see if you can guess which letter face is which Akatsuki, it's a little obvious, but enjoy! Answers at bottom of page._

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_(*u*) entry 95:_

_Here's my genius plan, each of us are going to seek our revenge on Tobi, and then, since I'm not that descriptive, they'll write about it in here. I've put a jutsu on my journal, so none of my secrets will be revealed…Take that Kakuzu! Well I'll start. We all, especially me, beat on Tobi, but this time I took it much, much higher. I went into his room, and I glued all of his stuff down, beds to the floor, sheets and blankets to the bed, pillows to sheets etc. He's going crazy in there, I even glued his Sponge Bob stuff to the ceiling…he's never going to get it down. Thank you super glue!_

_(^/.\^)_

_(*u*) entry 96:_

_Ok, I'm new to this but here goes. So Tobi was walking outside, and I followed him. He was completely oblivious. I sunk into the ground, and snuck up underneath him. I slowly reached my arms up and grabbed his ankles, the next thing he knew, all that was above ground was his head. While he bawled for help I just stood and laughed._

_(\ /)_

_(*u*) entry 97:_

_Well unn… I was watching TV, and I locked the channel on History yeah…Pein-Samma has his hands full hmm… Tobi's crying to his "Daddy" about how there's nothing on TV, and he can't go in his room to play because some evil thing has glued everything down unn…I wonder who did that hmm…oh well that's all un._

_( ^\ )_

_(*u*) entry 98:_

_Blood, Jashin, Blood galore, Ha-ha-ha Tobi is soo terrified. I poured blood all over his sheets, and Deidara. That dumbass thought his Sempai was dead, and the best part is so did Sasori. I mean wow, he was still breathing and everything. How do you mistake that…_

_(- . -)_

_(*u*) entry 99:_

_I really have nothing against Tobi, but when Itachi-Kun proposed this idea, I just couldn't resist joining in. Although, it was aimed at Tobi, I took this joke to a grander scale. I replaced all the food with toy food, it belonged to Tobi, and he hasn't played with it in forever. Oooh! It was soo funny when Itachi went to get a bottle of pop! (Itachi: Dammit that was you!)_

_(^.^)^)_

_(*u*) entry 100:_

_It's amazing what you can do with a little of Konan's makeup, and your chakra! I attached my chakra to several of Tobi's dolls, and dipped them in some of Konan's powder…then, I made them walk into his room and yell scary things at him like "you did this," and "Why'd you kill us Tobi-Samma?" He refuses to enter his room, That was Awesome!_

_(- . -) )_

_(*u*) entry 101:_

_It's about time I got that brat back for bawling all over me, although when I find out who locked the TV, they're going to get it. Right now everyone's suffering. I found an American Folk CD, and I'm playing it all through headquarters ha, next is the heavy metal CD. Mwhahahahaha they're all crying their eyes out, "Old mc Donald had a farm" Take that!_

_(-:l:-)_

_(*u*) entry 102:_

_Mwhahahahaha, I broke your jutsu Itachi…sugar plum fairy! Oh my prank was while I was robbing some one (Bill gates) I was disguised as Tobi! Now he's in deep, the American cops, and the Mounties are after him, (I also stole some Canadian bacon) take that!_

_(-/ \ -)_

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_**Form Naru-San: answers in order- Itachi, Zetsu, Deidara, Hidan, Konan, Sasori, Pein, and Kakuzu. Like I said they were obvious…ahh the toy food brings back memories…I haven't used that stuff since I was like 3 oh well another chapter headed your way! Sorry for not remembering your name**_


	23. Chapter 23

Ch 23

Finally a Decent Birthday

**From Naru-San: **I hope you liked the last chapter, I took all my creative power I had, this one isn't my best, but after a few nights sleep I'll be back at the top of my game. This chapter Itachi turns 17 Yay, just wait till next chapter! Enjoy.

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(*u*) entry 103:

Here's a short recap of my morning…'zzzzzzzzzz' "Surprise!" O/.\O *Itachi clings to ceiling* 'What the hell are you doing in my room' *Itachi loses grip and falls…present lands in his lap, and a cake on his head*…*cake is flung at fish as present is opened*…*shine* 'A brand new katana?' "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ITACHI!"

Itachi

(*u*) entry 104:

This year is going fast, I hate to think about Christmas this year. It's already June, and I'm finally 17. We're all splitting up to capture Jinchuriki, and Pein's plans are starting to unfold…I knew he belonged in a nut house…never mind, he's where he belongs. How the hell am I supposed to face off against nine tailed fox!?

Itachi

(*u*) entry 105:

I've been informed that I have a year to prepare for my mission. Hm…I better find some decent A.N.B.U. to practice on…if there are any…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 106:

Hmmm… interesting, Yugo-Chan has made A.N.B.U. She's probably the most acceptable one I've met, next to Kakashi and myself. I'm really out of practice, it was a close match. Of course I won, hn… I need more targets.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 107:

Yum…pizza , and a dead pizza delivery guy. Free pizza always tastes better. We ordered 9 pepperoni pizzas, and when they got here, we fed Zetsu…everyone's happy.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 108:

The date is drawing near, as I train my ass off out here in the freaking Iwa mountains, where it snows, IN THE SUMMER…I'm almost ready…so's Kisame, though he seems too excited, he threatened to cut me to ribbons for asking him if he wanted sushi…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 109:

Well this is my last night here before I depart on my mission…I can tell this won't be a pleasant one. Poker night is back, which means so is snakey…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 110:

I'm packing up and heading out, I just woke Kisame. We had a little trouble finding Kisame's headband, until we realized it was still on his head…(shows just how early in the morning this is) time to go…I hope we're successful…

Itachi

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**From Naru-san: Yay, next chapter actually falls into the story line of the show, Itachi meets up with people from his past, including Sasuke who's bent on revenge**


	24. Chapter 24

Ch 24

You Lack…Hatred

**From Naru-San:** Yay, He's 18 now, and I can add one of the parts I've been anticipating form the start…I'm sure you'll recognize these happenings…Enjoy!!

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(*u*) entry 111:

We're nearing my old home, and memories are stirring up in my head…I really missed that place, and I'm looking forward to see old friends, even though it'll probably end in a fight. From rumors floating around, I've heard my otouto has gotten quite good. I suppose we'll have to see.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 112:

I'm a quarter mile from the village, and we've just set camp. I believe for the first time I'm actually nervous about a mission. I hope this plays to our advantage, but it won't be easy walking into the village with a 6ft tall human shark.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 113:

We've stopped for tea, and will be striking in a matter of minutes. Hm…? Kakashi is standing outside, now he's met up with Kurenai and Asuma. Now Sasuke too…perhaps now would be a good time to leave.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 114:

Here's what's occurred so far, we were just leaving the village to chase the Kyubi kid, when Asuma and Kurenai block our path. We fought for a while, and Kakashi joined the fray. Then Guy shows up and Kisame insults his looks, infuriating him. I was forced to use my Mangehkyo Sharingan, not good. Although we managed to escape, this won't be the end of our troubles.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 115:

We've located the demon child, he's staying with the perverted toad sage in a hotel near Tanzaku town. There appears to be a festival going on, and there are many people in costumes here. Kisame and I should fit right in.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 116:

Short recap of today's events. Kisame and I entered the hotel where the two leaf ninja were staying, we knocked on the door, and the Genin answered. We were just about to take him when my foolish little brother showed up and tried (pathetically) to attack me. Although he's improved greatly, he still lacks enough hatred to destroy me. In the end I knocked him out with the Mangehkyo sharingan, a task I didn't enjoy…then Jiriya tried to trap us, and due to an ameterasu, we escaped the belly of the stone toad.

Itachi

Sasuke looked over the passage before him… "Hey! I'm not pathetic!" Sasuke shouted in his empty home…causing a stray cat who had made her home on his windowsill to jump up and claw the curtains… "Great…" he muttered to himself shooing the cat away, and going back to his reading. That part he actually remembered quite well. "Damn genjutsu…" and he turned the page.

(*u*) entry 117:

Our mission was a failure, and Pein couldn't have a bigger annoyed mark on his forehead. He's yelling up a storm, and Konan is trying to calm him… Oh! Ha-ha, she knocked him out with an injection of anesthetics.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 118:

HELP! The fish and I are locked in the closet, Tobi has our room, Deidara and Sasori have the TV, and Pein is pissed off. It's dinner time and I'm hungry…Please… someone let me OUT!

Itachi

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**From Naru-San: Yay I squeezed Sasuke-kun into my story again…and I just love all the different names Itachi uses to talk about Naruto, its really fun to use such diverse terms to mention the same thing.**


	25. Chapter 25

Ch 25

Wait…Rewind!…What the Hell is Going on Here?!

**From Naru-San:** Sorry, about the late update, there are two causes, 1: my final exams (which starting today are over) and 2: lack of ideas. Finally I've gotten my lazy butt up and going, its not my best work, but here ya go!

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(*u*) entry 119:

We're finally out of the closet, after a week of banging on the door. Everyone had just been ignoring us for a while, and finally Tobi let us out…and then gave us unwanted bear hugs. I cooked tonight, white rice and stir fry. Everyone's happy, but they don't know what the Fish and I did to everyone's food aside from ours and Tobi's…Laxatives anyone?…No one locks me in a closet with a fish for a week! That starts to smell real fast…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 120:

I seem to be neglecting my writing again, probably just being lazy…It's been a few months, and my birthday is coming up in two months. Hmm…I haven't even used my new katana yet, I better get in some practice time.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 121:

19th Birthday, What an experience, Pein is an Idiot…And I mean KING IDIOT. He hired Jeff Dunham to perform at me party…it wasn't pretty…more crazy puppet fights, and Walter wasn't happy…Peanut just continued to insult the Sand Nin, and all in all it was a mess.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 122:

As I expected, Sasori won…Again…Jeff Dunham is in the emergency care ward of the Konoha hospital…That took a lot of explaining on Leader-Baka's part…Tsunade's the new Hokage now, a female…this should be entertaining…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 123:

O/.\O SASUKE-BAKA! That dunce left Konoha! Why didn't anyone tell me when I happened?! GRRR…. He is so dead! Orochimaru SERIOUSLY! Did he hit his head or something?! If Orochimaru so much as licks him he dies…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 124:

OK, I've calmed down…it took a few cups of tea, but I'm finally calm. I shouldn't get so mad, if this is the way he wants to go about getting revenge, let him ruin his life, after all it was his choice.

Itachi

Sasuke looked at the last few entries… did his brother really still care that much about him and his decisions…his happiness? A wave of powerful unrecognizable emotion flowed through the Uchiha, as steamy hot tears flowed down his face. It was just then when Sasuke started to actually mourn the loss of his Nii-San…if only he'd known how much Itachi cared…things might have been different.

(*u*)

…It's Halloween, and Deidara is enjoying himself, dressing up like the rest of us members, and acting like us. I told him to be Tobi, and he immediately refused…I wonder why ha-ha…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 125:

…It's snowing…this hasn't happened in a while. Just because I want to, I think I'll head to Oto and cause a snowball war. Since Sasuke's there it'll be more interesting. Let's see how the snake and his groupies fare against real fighters…

Itachi

Sasuke couldn't help but remember that day, the sting of the cool air on his neck, an the slight pain when a snowball hit him in the back of the head…that was one of the only enjoyable experiences he had while in Otogakure.

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**From Naru-San: Sorry, again not my best work, but Yay! Sasuke's in here a lot this chapter hope you liked!**


	26. Chapter 26

Ch 26

Sometimes Things Just Happen…

**From Naru-San:** another chance to add something from the Naruto storyline… Shippuden begins now, but I can't go exactly along the storyline or else it would have been death by impalement… oh well that's why its called fan fiction.

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(*u*) entry 127:

It's a good thing I have a lot of black…Today a psycho friend of hours has passed away. We found the red headed puppet stabbed to death by two of his own puppet, the mother and the father. We have come to the conclusion that the murderers were his grandmother, Chiyo, and Haruno Sakura. Even I can't help but cry, although Deidara's a little over the top. He's bawling his eyes out, swearing, and punching the walls. Our entire headquarters is shaking. Damn it! Would he KNOCK IT OFF?! Why did Kakuzu have to reattach his arms…?

Itachi

(*u*) entry 128:

We now have the one-tailed Shukaku in our grasp. Pein seems happy that his psycho plan is working. I wonder what's next, and who's going to die…this is dumb, lives shouldn't be lost for such a stupid cause. I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be…A.N.B.U., please show up…PEIN'S CRAZY!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 129:

Now that it's begun, we're going in order. Ichibi down, 2-tailed turtle next. Off go Kakuzu and Hidan to their doom…I believe they're up against a female Jinchuriki…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 130:

I've just recently noticed, Pein puts more trust in the older members than me and Deidara. Even if they completely lack skill, he'll send them on missions before us…you'd think he'd have more sense than that. Hmmm…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 131:

Deidara's not as bad as I thought. I actually sat down and talked to him today. We both like the same movies and music, 3-Days Grace and Gran Torino! We rented it and then watched it 3 times just for the shooting scenes. He seems happier now…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 132:

They've been gone a while, I wonder how its going. (and if they're dead yet) most of us are just sitting around watching TV and playing video games. Zetsu and Konan got so bored they played hide-and-seek with Tobi…talk about desperate. Me, I'm enjoying the peace and quiet, more time for my guitar.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 133:

It seems my eyes are sore again, I wish I could find a cure, or go to Tsunade. I'm experiencing periodic blindness, and serious headaches…I hate my life…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 134:

Deidara's been acting strangely lately. Orochimaru came over for poker, and Dei beat the snot out of him, you can hardly recognize him. Also, I believe a member of the foundation has joined Kakashi's cell. I wonder what that old fool Danzo is planning…I'll just have to wait and see…

Itachi

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**From Naru-San: well, I'm off to read more Shippuden, enjoy I'll have another chapter up soon!**


	27. Chapter 27

Ch 27

Vengeance and Battles

**From Naru-San:** I'm not that great at research, so not all the deaths will follow the Naruto storyline. I'm going to use my creative powers to pull this thing to an end, and yes we're finally getting there. After this just 4 more years to cover. I'm really excited to see such a big project coming to a close, and with so many reviews thanks! You guys rock!

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(*u*) entry 135:

Kakuzu and Hidan been gone way longer than they should have… Pein is acting like a worrisome mother, it's kinda funny. Kakuzu's home, but Hidan's no where in sight…Holy Crap! He's bleeding…is that Hidan's body?! What the…?

Itachi

(*u*) entry 136:

We're out on a head hunt, literally. Kakuzu said a Leaf Shinobi buried Hidan's still cursing head, and we have to find it and dig it up before he isn't immortal anymore. Ha, Tobi tripped over something…Well what do you know, it's the Jashin freak himself, using every curse word he knows. Grab a shovel, and hope you hit his brain!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 137:

I may be stuck in the infirmary, but it was worth it to put that video on you tube! He was wrapped in bandages swearing constantly as Tobi poked his sides causing him to cry out in pain…he punched my lights out when he saw it…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 138:

I'm 21 years old now, and today I had an interesting encounter. I went to Leaf to speak with Kakashi and his team on the matter of my otouto, but my bushin was attacked. A few hours later in the forest, I was attacked by a silver wolf with one red eye. It was so weird.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 139:

Kakuzu is dead. We tried all we could, but that final chidori messed him up so bad putting in a new heart won't help. Looks like its another day for black.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 140:

Tobi's been acting strangely lately. He's been quieter, and kinda smarter…Definitely more secretive. I wonder what he's hiding…omg, he opened the fridge without hurting himself in the process!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 141:

Deidara's become even more violent, it took a punch in the face from Kisame and Zetsu to put him down last night. The worst part is he snores so loud. I swear the Americans can hear it…he's still sleeping /.\

Itachi

(*u*) entry 142:

Dei's run off to god knows where, and Konan's searching everywhere…I think I heard him mumble something about Sasori last night and a bombing. Then he smiled and muttered Orochimaru's name. Whoa! What was that noise?! O/.\O that was an explosion! Dammit Deidara, you idiot…

Itachi

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**From Naru-san:** I hope you guys understand that last entry Dei is dead. I hated to do it, but it had to happen…new chapter soon, and once again thanks for all the reviews and favorites, but my sister Winx could really use some readers she's a great author and will have a new story out soon! Watch for Mirrored: Two Worlds Two Girls and until then check out some of her other stories!


	28. Chapter 28

Ch 28

Tobi, Revealed

**From Naru-san:** special thanks go to **So-Happily-Unsatisfied** for this chapter idea…Enjoy!

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(*u*) entry 153:

I'm trapped in Tobi's room again, but it's different than before…darker…more sinister, and that evil cackling is driving me crazy. I'm chained to the wall, and he's coming towards me. The mask falls slowly to the floor shattering. Then, I slowly look up and see the face!… Then as he brings his weapon to my neck, I wake up!…What could it have meant? That face, it was Uchiha Madara's. Could that dream have been implying that Tobi is really Madara? I'll have to check this out.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 154:

Still the same old idiot, it was probably just a dream. His room's changed, but not by much. It's not Sponge Bob anymore, him and Konan painted it polka-dot. There's no way a dunce like him could be the great and powerful Madara…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 155:

He's acting different again today, secretive again. Wait a sec! Those are my kunai he's got! I gotta go chase him.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 156:

Man was that scary. Tobi totally went psycho on me when I tried to get my weapons back. I didn't know he could be so tough! Uh-oh looks like he wants revenge for me shoving him in the trash can. What the…? HE IS MADARA O/.\O…X/.\X

Itachi

(*u*) entry 157:

I woke up panting a few hours later…only to find the fish worriedly standing at my bedside…That was creepy…He told me he found Tobi coloring in my scrolls laughing like an idiot, and me passed out beside him. I tried to tell Kisame about Tobi being Madara, but he said that I had a concussion and needed to sleep.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 158:

Finally someone who believes me…Hidan says that after we reattached his head he started having the same nightmares. Sad thing is who'd believe us, Hidan's crazy, and apparently they all think I'm delusional…RRRRRRGH I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!!!!!!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 159:

Hidan and I are going to catch him in the act. I've got several camera's planted, 2 of which are in his room, and Hidan is watching the monitors. Once we have proof, Tobi/Madara is going down…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 160:

We got him!…but then we lost him…Hidan lost the tape! You'd think he would be smarter, he's only like infinity years old…Wait a second! Tobi/Madara was hanging around Hidan's room last night…Dammit!

Itachi

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**From Naru-San: Hm… so is Itachi crazy…Nope! The whole Akatsuki is! Another crazy holiday is coming your way next chapter, Enjoy!**


	29. Chapter 29

Ch 29

Will This Ever End…?

**From Naru-San: **hmm… I bet you weren't expecting this…a psycho Easter egg hunt, AND…MORE TOBI! I know I'm a bit late with this one, but I promised another crazy holiday and I think I over used Christmas a little. Enjoy!

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(*u*) entry 161:

Again, Konan has had the most retarded idea. We're decreasing in numbers, and she decides now is the perfect time for an Easter Egg Hunt…WITH BUNNY EARS!Seriously! Bunny ears! We're deadly S-Class criminal ninjas! Bunny Ears!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 162:

Wow, I hate sweets, and now, I've got a bunch of useless sweets…and I look like an idiot. At least I'm not Zetsu, unlike us with our retarded bunny ear hair bands, his are painted on his leaves. He's been trying for the last hour to clean it off…too bad he doesn't know Konan used house paint on him. He'll have to wait until it peels off.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 163:

Hm… There seems to be a silver wolf prowling around headquarters, and not just any wolf. It's the same wolf with one red eye, that I saw near Konoha a few months ago. This is pretty…strange…for lack of better terms.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 164:

We found our tape! And, Hidan's popping it in…Crap! It's all messed up! I should have guessed as much, knowing where we found it…I wondered what was clogging the toilet… looks like we're going to have to hold the camera's ourselves…Stake-out!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 165:

It's 1 A.M. on our third night and all he's done is normal Tobi things. This is getting irritating, I know what I saw, and I know I'm right. All I need is proof. Proof Tobi can't ruin. Hidan and I are armed with cameras, voice recorders, and rope. We're going to catch him, and possibly de-mask him…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 166:

The Akatsuki is mad and shocked at the same time. Shocked because Hidan and I were right, mad because it's 3 A.M. We finally got him when he went to use the bathroom, on his way out, we tripped him and tied him up. Then, Hidan woke everyone up. As soon as they were all there, the mask came off. Zetsu practically fainted…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 167:

Well, we've handled the Madara thing. We sent him on a permanent one-way trip to The Land of Snow. Now Akatsuki is down to only 6 members. I don't think Pein's going to reach his goals…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 168:

There's been some talk of disbanding Akatsuki, and going our separate ways. I wouldn't mind that so much if there was a place for me to go, but there really isn't anywhere where I'm not in a bingo book. Hm, I almost didn't notice the date, it's June 9th and I'm currently 22. I doubt there'll be any celebrating…

Itachi

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**From Naru-san: thx for reading this chapter, I bet no one guessed Easter huh. Well, Akatsuki's falling apart…let's just see what happens. **


	30. Chapter 30

Ch 30

The Going of Separate Ways…

**From Naru-San: **Well even as I write this chapter I'm still not positive how I'm going to get to the end. I'm glad I've had so many reviews, and hits. I was just checking this story's stats and it has almost 7 thousand hits! I couldn't believe it. You're all wonderful, enjoy!

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(*u*) entry 169:

It seems we're all breaking apart. I hate to say it, but I'm going to miss these guys…and girl…no matter how messed up they really are. Especially Kisame, all those sushi jokes and those looks on his face were priceless. I've no clue where I'll go, but I'll find somewhere eventually…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 170:

So far I've been wandering around from village to village, so as to not be caught. At night I stay at random inns, using an alias which differs each time. I'm nearing my old home again. I have no clue what I'll do when I get there, but I just feel like heading home.

Itachi

(*u*) entry 171:

As I reached the outskirts of Konoha I ran into that weird wolf again, I swear it's stalking me. It kept staring and following. I thought most animals were afraid of humans. It didn't look malnourished, so why does it keep trying to approach me? It's starting to rain…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 172:

The rain hasn't let up in three days, and the fog is soo thick travel is all but impossible if I want to avoid bumping into trees. Maybe Konan was right when she said my eyesight needed checking…I'm sitting in a tree right now, near the gates, and that wolf is still stalking me. Its asleep at the bottom of the tree. Every now and then when lightning strikes and there's clear visibility, it looks up at me and snarls…it's kinda creepy…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 173:

Stupid thing…it won't let me leave this dang tree. I'm pretty sure this wolf knows ninjutsu…wolfs aren't supposed to be able to jump up into tree tops. That one red eye keeps glaring at me. I can just see the malice and bloodlust. I think it wants to kill me!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 174:

Kisame called last night…he's in freaking Miami having the time of his life. He says Zetsu is flipping burgers at Burger King…don't know how that works out, and Konan and the Peins are all hanging out in Ame where they're treated like gods. This is soo not fair, aside from what happened to Zetsu, everyone's happy. Me, I'm being stalked and hunted by a silver, red-eyed, ninja wolf…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 175:

That scarred red eye wont stop looking at me. Its glaring out from the shadows and fog. I can see its shape. It's a lot bigger up close…I think it's crouching…Ahhhhhhh its gonna pounce! Now's a bad time to be me, let alone write.

**Itachi**

(*u*) entry 176:

I narrowly escaped. I swear that wolf had frickin sharingan! I'm hiding out in my old house. The doors and windows are all locked. I have to keep out that psycho wolf! Not only was that sharingan, but what the heck kinda ninja mammal knows water style ninjutsu?? That was a water dragon attack!

Itachi

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**From Naru-San:** guess who??? You'll have to read the next chapter to find out! There's only 2 more chapters to go! There also will be a sequel, but it won't be uploaded till after I finish restraints, so while you wait, check out some of our other works like mirrored or sweet buggy love! Thanks, I'll update soon.


	31. Warning: Spoilers will occur!

**Ch 31**

**Life and Death Situations…!**

**From Naru-San:** okay after this there'll be just one more chapter, but this ends the journal entries. I want the next chapter to mainly be about Sasuke. I hope this last chapter isn't disappointing, but like I said there most likely will be a sequel…so in the future look for _"Sasuke's Crazy Days With Akatsuki"._ It definitely wont be like this one, but I promise it'll be funny as hell. **Warning: Spoiler Alert for those who watch anime only!!**

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(*u*) entry 177:

It keeps clawing at the door, and I swear I see lightning coming from its paw…the noise is making my ears ring, and the pain in my head is causing me to feel faint. Every now and again it slashes a small hole in the door, and I fear it will brake in. I can't call 911 or the A.N.B.U. They'd either arrest me or do the same as the wolf. I'm moving to another room…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 178:

Even though I'm scared as hell all I can do is write… I want Sasuke to know how I die, since I have a feeling it won't be him who ends my life. I did what I did to protect him, he's my otouto, and I love him. O/.\O there was a loud crash just now, I think it's inside! Now all I can do is hide and hope it doesn't sniff me out. As if I have a choice, it's either hide or die. I'm done running. It's just a dumb animal after all. A really scary dumb animal…!

Itachi

(*u*) entry 179:

I can hear it in the other room, and I'm scarcely breathing. My phone died hours ago, and I've tried everything I can to contact Kisame, Zetsu, and the others…seems I'm doomed…and here in the darkness, the situation truly is hopeless. The pains are stronger, and I don't think I have the strength to yell for help. My vision is finally gone…Damn you, Shisui…

Itachi

(*u*) entry 180:

I'm badly injured. It found me in the middle of the night and took me by surprise. I'm using the last of my chakra for sharingan…to leave this last message to my friends and comrades. The slaughter was not my proudest moment, and I had to lie to you all. It was a mission…Sasuke, you were commended to die along with them. You were my baby brother…I couldn't allow that. I lied to save you, and I'm deeply sorry that you'll hate me for the rest of my remaining time on this earth…so to make it up to you, here are the instructions to the "Ameterasu: black flames of hell" technique…

Itachi

Sasuke flipped the pages desperate for some last entry, another note. Anything more his brother had written…so many questions…

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**From Naru-San: sorry that it's so short, but I promise the next chapter'll be a lot longer. Ch 32 I wrap this thing up, thank you all today I hit 7,132 hits for this story!**


	32. The endor is it just the Beginning?

_**Ch 32**_

_**Whose Knocking at the door**_

_**From Naru-San:**__ This is the final chapter of "My Crazy Days in Akatsuki From the Diary of Itachi"_. thanks to everyone who reads this! This chapter sort of sets the stage for the sequel, while ending this one. So hopefully I'll have some return readers when the second one comes out. (^.^)

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Sasuke had looked those instructions over possibly a thousand times…but the blood that covered the page made it terribly difficult to read his brothers frantic handwriting. He had given up several hours ago, and turned to some of his favorite entries.

He especially loved to read about the torturous holidays Itachi had been put through. Easter egg hunts, Christmas fights, crazy puppets. He sighed and turned the page again. Poker night. Sasuke just had to smile when his brother wrote of his former masters tongue and how disgusted Itachi was with it.

He turned to another Christmas entry, reading the first line he cried. It was the year of the demon wind shuriken…the same shuriken he had used against Zabuza…the one he had always treasured…the one he had hung proudly on his mantle. To know it was from his brother, and to know the truth, he just cried, until he fell asleep book in hand.

He awoke several hours later, after he thought he heard knocking at his door. He glanced at the clock. "damn 3:00 A.M." he rolled over in his chair and tried to go back to sleep…until…KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

"Damn it un! I told you not so loud Tobi-kohai!"

"Tobi is sorry! Tobi is a good boy, Senpai!"

"What the h…!" Sasuke then ran to the door. If Naruto had dared show up with more of his retard friends like that Sai guy…he was soooo dead. He opened the door, and practically fell over at the sight. There stood a tall blonde with long hair, an idiot in an orange mask, a short guy with red hair, a fish, a plant, an older woman, a punk rock wannabe, a guy with no shirt, and some guy counting money.

"What…the…fuck?" he managed to spit out. "You guys are supposed to be dead!?"

"Not all of us." the woman huffed.

"We came back to life un!"

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!!"

"shut the fuck up Tobi or I'll feed you to the plant!"

"I'm offended, Hidan!"

"**Damn you Hidan!"**

Sasuke just tried to make sense of it all…wait! Did that plant just talk twice???????? Also what the hell did they want with him. Hadn't they tortured an Uchiha enough?

"What the hell do you want?"

"Well um…oh you tell him Deidara." replied the plant as he hit the blonde with his elbow.

"Well you see un, I…um accidentally…blew up our hideout. Which means we…uh…need a place to hang out. Is Itachi home, yeah?"

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**From Naru-san: well this is the end, I bet you all know where this is going. I may start the sequel sooner than planned, but I still need to get restraints and mirrored going…hope you can stand the wait. Thanks to everyone and for over 7,000 hits!**


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